Yep. Seriously, that’s my main goal.
God knows, my hands are cleaner than they’ve ever been, but the rest of me could probably use a bit of – I’ll say it, I’m not afraid – Shampoo-Conditioner-and-Bodywash. I’m a man, damnit – don’t judge me! Combination hygiene products are the pinnacle of modern bathing technology! Lots of things are naturally a gel at room temperature, and neon blue is a color that occurs everywhere in nature!
Speaking of handwashing. Has anybody else noticed that there is a multitude of hand-washing experiences suddenly available? They can’t all be highly effective, but there are SO MANY options. In just my “new-normal” (I know, I know, “gross”) everyday life I notice the following:
- The Nuclear Option – Clorox Wipes. This is for the (increasingly) rare occasion when we actually leave the house. Get in the car, pop the top, and scrub our hands down with these bad boys. Then we wipe down the car handles, steering wheel, and gear shift. Probably all elaborate hygiene theatre, but hey, my 12-year old steering wheel has never looked cleaner. Then we throw the dirty wipes on the floorboards of the backseat. I should probably get a bag or something for those.
- The Old School – Dial. Bar soap. Call me crazy, but I think the way this dries out my skin and leaves me feeling squeaky clean and smelling vaguely institutional screams “Clean!” Yeah, yeah, I know “antibacterial” does not equal “antiviral”, but I like my odds.
- Foamy Soap Thingy – we have some of those trendy foamy soap pump thingies in the kitchen -thank you Target – and I’m sure there are others around the house too. I *think* the concept behind those it that you theoretically waste less soap? By making you think you’ve already built up a lather on your hands before you’ve even really gotten started. I am not convinced this is a good thing. Also, it is a Class IV P.I.T.A. to get underneath the kitchen sink to refill the soap canister when it runs dry. Not a fan. Would not recommend.
- Pump Soap – various colors, scents, aromas, and locations. It’s alright, I guess. I have no real frame of reference as to what “Mountain Pear Morning Dew” actually smells like in the wild, so SURE I’ll take their word for it!
- Old Reliable – Dawn Dishwashing Soap. Hey, if they can use this stuff to scrub crude oil off of floundering baby seagulls, it can probably get a germ or two off of me. I hope. In fact, its so good that you have to sit there and scrub and scrub and scrub until it finally rinses off of your hands. It works, but I like to use it as a backup plan to Foamy Soap Thingy.
…and then, I may shave.
But that’s a story for a different day.
MO’B